Lars: [Scene starts at the Big Donut with Steven helping with cleaning a table] Hurry up with those chairs, Steven, it's after closing and I'd like to go home.
Steven: I got it, I got it! Coming. [leaps for the phone but Lars answers it first. Steven falls to the floor]
Lars: Hello? Sorry, sir, we're close...
[Sadie snatches the phone]
Sadie: hey, there, The Big Donut. How could I help you? [customer explains order over phone] Donuts? [eyes turn into dollar signs] Um... Of course we have Donuts.
Lars: Uhh, Sadie...
Sadie: the delivery boy will bring it right over. [hangs up]
Lars: Sadie, I hate to tell you this but, we don't serve Donuts. [Sadie gets a donut bax Then puts some donuts in the box] We don't deliver.
Sadie: We don't deliver, [gives Lars the box of donuts] but you do.
Lars: Can't you just get Steven to do it?
Sadie: sure, Take him with you!
[Steven sneaks over smiling big]
Lars: That's not what I had in mind!
Steven: Front end... check. Antenna... [touches the car antenna making it vibrate] check. Bumper... check. Bumper sticker... [bumper sticker says "I Brake For Donuts"] ...check. [uncaps the tire pressure and puts his mouth in it, causing him to inflate like a balloon, and talk in a squeaky, high pitched voice while he is now the size of a giant parade balloon] Tire pressure! hehehehe [blows out the rest of the pressure in Lars's face, returning him to his normal size and voice] ...check. Vehicle inspection complete! We're really making history here Lars. That lucky customer is going to get the first box of donuts ever.
Lars: Good, then you drive.
Spongebob: I can't. I never went to driving school yet, i don't even have a liscence.
Lars: Come on, Steven. It's just around the corner.
Steven: Well, yeah, but...
Lars: Just do what pearl does when driving.
Steven: Well, okay. Wait, don't tell me.
Squidward: Back it up.
Lars: Back... it up.
Steven: Right, back... it up. [tries to move the stick shift down]
Lars: Back it up!
Steven: Okay, okay, chill man
Lars: Shift into reverse, Steven!
Steven: Reverse? Oh, yeah, reverse.
[Steven imagines the words "FORWARD" and "BACKWARD" turning into Korean characters, 앞으로가 (FORWARD) and 뒤로가 (BACKWARD)]
Lars: Back it up!
Steven: [shifts gears] Backing up! Backing up! [the car backs up really fast]
Lars: [tries to get the wheel] No! Steven! You did it wrong! Gimme the wheel, Steven. Give me the wheel! Give me it!
Steven: Backing up! Backing up! Ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ack-i-i-i-i-i-ng up! [they go over a bumpy area with rocks and then they spin around and around and around, screaming. The next morning, the boat goes over five hills] Backing up. Backing up. Backing up. Backing up. [boat stops with no gas left]
Lars: Well... you backed up. And you know what? I think were out of gas. And you know what else? [echoing] We're in the middle of nowhere!
Steven: And you know what else else? I think the donuts are getting cold.
Lars: And the donuts are cold? Oh, the donuts are cold. Not the donuts! Oh, how could it get any worse? [kicks the car and the car's gasoline becomes full again and it quickly runs back to the big donut ]
Steven: Well, we can still deliver it on foot.
[Lars narrows his eyes. Later, both walk on the sand]
Lars: Ow, ow ow.
Steven: [singing in a style of young micheal Jackson * Micheal JADE-son in this case in their world* XD ] donuts d-d-donuts, donuts donuts donuts, donuts *raspberry* d-d-donuts *raspberry* donuts donuts. Donuts *rasberry* were serving donuts... HEE HEE!! *MJ SOUND*
Lars: ...And my feet are killing me. Whoa. [ trips over Steven, who is lying on the ground] Steven? What are you doing?
Steven: [rubbing ground] Its an old castaway trick. I saw it in a movie once.
Lars: Steven, this is no time for...
Steven: Shh, shh, shh. It's working.
Lars: What is it?
Steven: [pointing to the road] Truck! 4 wheels. Now I can show you how the castaways hitchhiked. [starts dancing in the road while wearing a hat] Whee... eee... [Lars sits on a rock while playing with a wooden spoon]
Truck Driver: Crashin' frashin' break dancers! [honks his truck]
Lars: He's stopping! He's stopping! [Lars realizes he's not stopping and grabs Steven out of the way where they are covered in sand thanks to the truck. Squidward narrows his eyes at the smiling SpongeBob]
Steven: oh thanks lars, that was close. [Steven and Lars are now in a place with heavy winds] donuts, d-d-donuts *rasberry* donuts donuts.. Donuts,d-d-donuts, donuts donuts [Lars is just slouching down bored and annoyed] str the big donuts free delivery. The big donuts are the donuts, very ta-asty. [Steven gets carried around in the air by the huge winds]
Lars: Will you let go of those stupid donuts, already?!
Steven: [still being carried around in the air] I can't, it's for the customer!
Lars: Well, who cares about the customer?!
Steven: I do!
Lars: Well, I don't!
SpongeBob: [wind stops and Steven gasps] Lars! [starts flying again]
Lars: Let go of the donuts!
Steven: No! [runs over Lars]
Lars: Ow. [holding Steven's legs] Steven, let go of the donuts!
Steven: No! It's for the customer!
Lars: Steven! Let go of the pizza! [lifts up into the tornado]
Lars: Steven! [looks down] Hang onto the pizza! [tornado spits them both out. Steven uses the box as a parachute but Lars falls hard onto the ground] Hey! Hey! [crawls up to the screen] Where's the road? Where's the road? [a tumbleweed rolls by] We're doomed! How are we gonna get home, which way do we go? [Steven lands] What are we gonna do now! There's no road here!
Steven: I think town's this way. [points]
Lars: Oh, don't tell me, Steven. The castaways?
Steven: That's right. [points to a mossy rock] Moss always points to civilization.
Lars: That way? That way there? [Steven nods] So, let me get this straight... you think that we should go that way?
Steven: [nods again] Yep.
Lars: Well, then I'm going this way. [heads the other way]
Steven: Huh? Lars, wait! I don't think...
Lars: Trust me, I know where I'm going. [Pans out to show another city in the other direction]
Steven: [sings] donuts d-d-donuts donuts donuts [later] Donuts... [starts beatboxing] d-d-d- donuts... [later, Steven is moon walking backwards. Steven's pants almost split into two and move up and down simultaneously while he continues to beatbox. Still later] The big Donuts Donuts so tasty, yeah, for you and [falsetto] me! OW! *MJ OW XD* [later] donut... for you. don... the big donut and the... donut and the... donuts inside. [Later, they are both lying face down in the sand]
Lars: Steven, we gotta eat something.
Steven: I heard in times of hardship, the castaways would eat cacti. [Lars eats some cacti] No, maybe it wasn't cacti. [Lars spits out the coral] Maybe it was sand, no, no, mud. Lars: Give me the pizza!
Steven: Wait, I remember now. It was cacti!
Lars: Give it to me!
Steven: No, we promised it's for the customer.
Lars: [fancy music plays] You're right. It's for the customer.
Lars: Maybe we better check on it, make sure it's okay.
Lars: Just a peek. [opens box]
Steven: [he shuts it quickly] Okay, it's fine.
Lars: No, I think I saw something. [opens box] Oh, no. I was wrong. It looks okay. they sure are fine looking donuts.
Lars: What are those? are those the sprinkles?
Lars: And the glaze?
Lars: Oh, looks good, huh?
Steven: Wait a second, I know what you're trying to do, Lars. [closes box] I'm not letting you eat the donuts!
Lars: Give me the donuts!
Lars: Don't make me take them away from you, Steven!
Steven: Get away!
Lars: [chases Steven] Get back here, Steven, give me the donuts!
Lars: Wait! [he becomes too tired to run]
Steven: No! No! [runs into Lars]
Lars: I want those donuts and you're gonna hand it over one way or another!
Steven: Look, we're saved!
Lars: Sure, we're saved. Now give me some donuts!
Steven: No, really Lars, we're saved! We're saved! We're saved! [he jumps in and out of his pants]
Lars: Will you cut that out?!
Steven: [to a conga beat] Saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved! [SpongeBob starts doing a conga dance] Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, we are saved!
Lars: That's just a stupid boulder!
Steven: It's not just a boulder. [sniff] It's a rock. [cries] A rohohohohock! A rohohohohohock! [steven is so happy XD ] Its a big beautiful, old rock. [climbs up it and rubs it] Oh, the castaways used to ride these babies for miles, and it's in great shape.
Lars: Steven, will you forget the stupid castaways?! Have you ever noticed that there are none of them left? That's because they were lousy hitchhikers, ate cacti and took directions from signs! And now, you're telling me they thought they could drive...
[Steven drives the boulder around Lars] ...rocks? Hold on there, Steven!
Steven: [they stop outside the customer's house] I can't wait to see the look on our customers face! [rings doorbell]
Steven: Congratulations, Peridot. Your donuts are here!
Peridot: Wow, thanks! I've been dying for one of these. It... [brief pause] Where's my drink?
Steven: [confused] What drink?
Peridot: [in an angry tone] My drink!? My diet Dr. Pepsi. Don't tell me you forgot my drink!
Steven: [checks through the order] But, you didn't order any...
Peridot: [yelling] How am I supposed to eat the donuts without my drink?!
Steven: But... but... [tears start rolling down his face]
Peridot: Didn't you ever once think of the customer?! [throws the pizza at Steven's face] You call yourself a delivery boy?! Well I ain't buying! [slams door. Steven goes over to Squidward, smiling and trying not to cry]
Lars: Steven? Steven? It's okay. Steven? [Steven drops the donuts, falls over, starts sobbing ] Steven? [Lars gets angry, grabs the pizza, stomps towards the Customer's house and pounds on the door]
Peridot: [answers the door, still angry] Another one? Look, I told your little friend I ain't paying for that!
Lars: [Peridot's point of view] Well, this one's on the house! [slams the pizza in Peridot's face, knocking her out]
Steven: [still crying] Did he change his mind?
Lars: [smugly] He sure did. Ate them all in one bite.
Steven: [stops crying] No drink?
Lars: Nah. Now take me home. [jumps up on the rock]
Steven: Are you kidding? We have just enough time to make it back to work. [backs up the rock where they are instantly at the big donut ]
Lars: Work? [screen cuts to black] ow my aching arms!
[ the end ]